How to treat a person who has autism with respect
Autism is a diagnosis that can encompass a range of challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech, and nonverbal communication. 1 in 59 children in the US is diagnosed with autism (but there are many people, particularly girls, who go undiagnosed for their entire lives).
Children and adults with autism have to face media accounts and opinions of their diagnoses that are not healthy for their self-perception. Because autism is relatively rare, society often has a difficult time showing compassion and understanding to those who are on the autism spectrum. This leads to people feeling shutout, misunderstood, and disrespected.
Supporting people with autism to build healthy views of themselves and self-advocate is one way to make the world a considerably better place. In this post, we’ll discuss some easy changes in mindset and delivery that can help to give people the support they need to be themselves and put their own twist on the world - making it a better place.
Labeling
When it comes to autism or any other unique personal challenge, generalizing can be polarizing. Each person with autism has their own way to describe their relationship with autism that is individualized to them. Some people prefer to say that they’re “autistic”, “on the spectrum”, “a person with autism”, for example. Each person is different, each situation is different. When you talk to someone with autism, speak on their terms. Address the person’s relationship with autism as they would themselves.
Don’t speak over or louder than you would to a neurotypical person. Speaking louder, speaking very slowly, speaking over, and ultimately talking down to are actions that some people think are totally acceptable, but they’re not.
Some people have delayed motor skills and can process faster than they can respond. If you assume that they can’t understand you, it can be really frustrating and upsetting.
Address the person
People with autism often have to deal with being immediately seen as being autistic before being seen as themselves. The thing is, just like neurotypical folks, a person with autism is exactly that; an individual, a unique human with their own life, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and everything else any other person has. Learn to look for the person first, because people aren’t their disabilities.
The opposite issue is that there are people who are on the spectrum but they aren't always seen as being autistic–because autism is not something you can see. They may not know even know that they are on the spectrum. That’s why it’s very important to take the time to treat each person as an individual and judge a book by the cover.
Don’t demand eye contact
Know that not everyone wants to maintain eye contact, and that’s ok. Not every neurotypical person enjoys eye contact and the same goes for those with autism. Some people are fine with it; others feel uncomfortable in this situation.
People will sometimes try to demand eye contact from a person with autism even if that person doesn’t want to maintain eye contact. This often comes from trying to study the recipient or from the desire to make themselves feel comfortable. Nobody wants to feel like a science experiment.
Respect personal interests
Everyone has hobbies and special interests. A characteristic that sometimes comes along with an autism diagnosis is the ability to hyper-focus. The media loves this one and plays it up whenever there’s a news story about the person who can memorize thousands of number plates or someone who can draw the New York City skyline from memory. These are amazing feats but, again, the interest is usually in the diagnoses before the person. The wording uses terms from hobbies to obsessions and attributed to the fact that the person has autism, not that they have this extraordinary talent that they’ve chosen to share with the world. They’re personal interests or hobbies, not obsessions.
Give people space to grow
It’s easy to cut a person off, talk about them as if they’re not there, and disregard their desire for independence when they have a harder time verbally expressing themselves. Not everything a person says is in words. If someone has a hard time expressing their desires, give them enough time and space to get their point across. If someone with autism has an opinion, that opinion should be taken just as seriously as a neurotypical person’s opinion.
To summarize, the number one thing to keep in mind is to treat everyone with the same level of respect by allowing them to be themselves. Accepting a person’s differences is so important because people’s differences will always bring to the table a new perspective to the table. Treating each other with care and respect makes us that much better as a society.
About Stephen’s Place
Stephen’s Place is an independent apartment community for adults with developmental and intellectual disabilities, located in Vancouver, WA (7 minutes from Portland, OR).
If you have a loved one with developmental or intellectual disabilities, who is looking for a community to live in, please contact us for more information.
Stephen’s Place is a private-pay apartment community due to our state-of-the-art amenities and programs. We are a nonprofit and do not profit from our community. We are private pay because we spend more than some housing communities to ensure that our residents are comfortable and can safely live their lives with independence and dignity.